


Sixteen Light Years

by xantissa



Series: Carnival of Rust [28]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 06:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3925519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xantissa/pseuds/xantissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don't have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it.” - Chris Pine</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sixteen Light Years

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of credit for this scene goes to BotanyCameos and her wonderful blog. This was inspired by something I read there.  
> Date:10-05-2015

Jim sat in his captain’s chair on a completely deserted bridge. The Enterprise was docked and mostly powered down for the multitude of repairs that were still ongoing. It was hard, admitting to himself just how much he loved this ship, this crew. Logically he knew everything pointed at him having to leave his post soon, but in reality he just couldn't make himself face that reality.

When he heard the turbo lift open, he tilted his head to get a look at who was coming. It was beta shift on a docked ship, it meant only two officers had to be on call, and no one had to actually be on the bridge.

The sharp clicking of high heels told him the identity of his visitor before he actually saw her.

"Captain," she greeted as soon as she caught sight of him. She was dressed in her casual wear, tight jeans and some kind of top with an asymmetric design that really flattered her shape.

Jim raised his eyebrows. After all they’d been through together he asked to be called by name when not on duty.

"Jim," she corrected, obviously not comfortable with the familiarity. He considered using her first name to needle her a bit, but decided she was way too volatile for that.

"Uhura?" he offered and she smiled at him approvingly. "I thought you would be on Earth already." Technically she had started her leave at fourteen hundred hours, together with Spock.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked, looking around apprehensively.

"Sure." He leaned forward, making sure to look as inviting as possible. "What’s up?"

She looked at him for a moment, her dark eyes searching for something in his face before she spoke.

"Spock told me about your plan," she admitted softly, carefully not looking at his leg or the cane leaning on the chair.

Uhura, beautiful, competent and extremely danegrous, looked as uncomfortable as he had ever seen her. She was too aware of her body to fidget, but something in her demeanor implied she really wanted to.

"Is there really nothing we can do?"

Jim sighed, not really wanting to talk about it.

"Bones is working on it. But it's better if we hedge our bets."

She nodded, her eyes still dark, and didn't push.

"We’re leaving tomorrow. Spock is on the observation deck now."

Jim raised his eyebrows, not really understanding what she wanted him to know.

"You should join him there," she finally explained, sounding a bit put off.

"Why?" Jim blurted out, confused.

She didn't roll her eyes, but the look she threw him all but flayed him alive.

"You are both so brilliant," she said with a strange twist to her lips "and such idiots at the same time, it's unreal."

And okay, Jim might be dull sometimes, but this allusion he actually got. Maybe because he did think about it sometimes, about Spock.

"Wait a moment, there's nothing between Spock and me." He started to defend immediately, faintly terrified of what would happen if he somehow managed to fuck things up for Spock.

This time she did roll her eyes.

"There isn't, I know," she interrupted his panicking. "But there could have been, and we are all aware of that fact."

Jim looked her in the eye, a little dumbfounded. Yes, in the middle of the night he did let his mind stray a little. Spock drove him crazy half the time. He was either willfully ignorant or outright obtuse. But he was also loyal, smart and had the most wicked, unexpected sense of humor Jim had ever seen. So Jim let his mind wander sometimes, but it was just that. Just idle thinking, harmless fantasies that never impacted his actual relationship with his first officer.

"I..." he said uncertainly "don't really know what you mean."

She shook her head with a small, fond smile on her face. Her long hair fanned out behind her for a moment.

"Just go see Spock okay? He won't talk to me, but I have a feeling he will talk to you."

With those words she turned and left, not even waiting for Jim to acknowledge her at all.

He dithered a little, confused and out of sorts. Eventually he left the bridge too, aiming for the observation deck.

Well, it might have started as an observation deck but since the Enterprise started carrying actual crew the space evolved into unofficial recreational deck. Some bright spark moved some of the large plants from hydroponics there too, filling every nook and cranny with trees and shrubs. Some of them were in bloom, some vibrantly green. There were also a few tables with chairs scattered around the deck, near the huge viewing windows.

Spock was sitting in one of the chairs, facing the windows. A small blinking light indicated that the optic telescope was active. Jim tried to look at the collection of bright dots and fit it into some pattern he recognized. He had studied star charting at the Academy and even passed the subject with good marks, but it wasn't something he enjoyed. He could work with it if he had to, but never spent any time on it. He didn't recognize the constellation.

Spock had a bottle of something fiery red beside his elbow and a glass half full in his hand. He kept staring at the windows with a peculiarly belligerent expression. Jim watched him for a long moment, taking in his friend’s body language. At first glance, he seemed relaxed, just sitting there alone, but if Jim had to guess, he’d say Spock was miserable. There was a tiny furrow between his brows and he sipped from the glass a little faster than he normally would.

Eventually Jim went to the small bar hidden in the wall next to the door, retrieved a glass for himself and walked up to Spock. The Vulcan started a little when he finally noticed Jim. He opened his mouth to greet him as Captain probably, but at a pointed look from Jim he caught himself in time and said, "Jim" instead.

"Can I join you?" the blond asked, showing his glass to Spock.

The Vulcan hesitated for a moment before nodding.

Jim sat down in the nearest chair, letting his cane lean on the table between them and poured himself a measure of the red alcohol. He tried it on for taste, but as soon as he swallowed, he had to cough, the burn was truly something.

"Wow," he managed once he got his voice back. "Strong."

Spock smirked at him for a moment before he schooled his expression back into naturalness.

"What are you doing here?" Jim asked, putting the alcohol back on the table and watching, with not a little bit of awe as Spock swallowed some more, his face never betraying the burn.

"Vulcan was sixteen light years away from Earth," Spock said suddenly, his eyes still firmly on the huge windows, tracking the tiny little dots of light on the endless black canvas of space.

"Yeah," Jim agreed because he knew that. He never actually mentioned Vulcan in Spock's presence since the destruction of the planet, always uncomfortable with the idea of causing Spock undue pain by being careless.

"Do you know what it means?" Spock persisted and Jim was actually kind of lost, not really getting what Spock wanted him to see.

"That it was very close? That was the reason Vulcans were the first alien race to make contact with Earth..." He recited the facts, hoping to strike gold eventually.

Spock was silent throughout Jim's babble, seeming patient and still staring at the freaking windows as if they held the secrets of the universe.

"It means it takes sixteen years for the light reflected by the planet to reach Earth," Spock said very calmly. "It means I can sit here and see my planet through the telescope, a planet that doesn't exist anymore."

Jim looked at the windows, at the collection of little dots then back to Spock. And back again.

"Oh," he mumbled, stunned and lost, casting his mind around frantically for something to say to make it better.

But there was nothing he could say. He hated being helpless.

"I find myself oddly mesmerized and humbled, that I can see it for fifteen more years before even this little shard of my home is lost." Spock sounded calm but Jim never trusted that tone of voice.

"I'm going to get myself a bottle of something I can actually drink," Jim said faintly. "And then we are going to drink ourselves unconscious." He decided, climbing back to his feet and getting hold of his cane.

"That," Spock said after a moment, finally taking his eyes from the windows and looking at Jim "would be acceptable." He looked back to the darkness. 

The end

**Author's Note:**

> I am assuming here that Vulcan was destroyed a year before Star Trek Into Darkness


End file.
